


Change is Annoyingly Difficult

by Bella_Monoxide



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Canon Disabled Character, Feels, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-10
Packaged: 2021-01-25 20:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21361903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bella_Monoxide/pseuds/Bella_Monoxide
Summary: Kyle and Alex have a discussion that might just turn their renewed friendship into something else.
Relationships: Alex Manes/Kyle Valenti
Comments: 7
Kudos: 29





	1. Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fandom was The Walking Dead, and I have a lot of favourite characters that I like to sneak into stories, so this time around, it's Caesar Martinez, canonically called by his last name. This character appears in both the graphic novels and the TV-series. He is mentioned briefly, though, as an acquaintance of Kyle.  
This story is set in a somewhat nebulous timeline, especially since we don't know much, if anything, about the next season yet.  
I also snuck in a Vampire Diaries reference because it worked so well.

„What? Then what is it, Alex? Help me out here, man, cause I don’t get it!” Kyle yelled, at his wit’s end. “You find out I’m bisexual, and suddenly you avoid me like the plague! After all the crap we’ve been through together?”

Alex made a placating gesture, looking slightly alarmed by then. “Kyle, please. Just, c…”

“Don’t you dare, Alex!” Kyle, it appeared, was not quite done yelling. “Don’t you dare tell me to calm down right now!”

Alex took a deep breath. Leaning against the wall right next to the entrance of his cabin, with Kyle standing just inside, Alex crossed his arms over his chest, waiting.

Now was most definitely not a good time for Kyle to realize how built Alex had gotten since the worst of their alien related trouble had been dealt with. And yet. He sighed deeply.

Half embarrassed over his outburst, half childish stubbornness, a relict from his childhood choosing the wrong time to rear its ugly head again, he muttered under his breath, only loud enough for Alex to hear him if he strained his ears and tried really hard. “Or maybe you’re just afraid.”

Alex’ demeanour changed in and instant. “Afraid? What the fuck, Kyle?!” He spluttered, all up in Kyle’s face. “Afraid of what?”

Kyle threw his hands up. “I dunno, man!” Blushing, but holding Alex’ gaze by sheer determination, he added. “Maybe that I might just kiss you!”

When Alex took a step back, Kyle deflated, breaking eye contact.

Stunned, Alex blurted. “Why on earth would you kiss me?” He shook his head a couple times, trying to clear his thoughts, to no avail. “Just because I recently found that you’ve been, I dunno, lying to yourself all along or whatnot, I’m suddenly afraid you might come on to me? Jesus.” He drew both hands over his face. “That’s insane, Kyle.”

Looking defeated, Kyle sagged against the door. “Yeah. Maybe.” He mumbled.

“Maybe? Kyle! Try totally!” Alex said, but Kyle looked up as if he had just realized something.

“Wait. I lied to myself? Is that what you just said? Manes. What did you imply with that?”

It was Alex’ time to throw his hands up. “I don’t know, Kyle, you tell me! Or wasn’t it you, bro-jock extraordinaire, who bullied me all those years because I was gay?” He looked grim. “You know what? I don’t care, Kyle. Do what you want, I am done with this conversation. It’s ridiculous, and I am having a tough time already, what with Project Shepard, and my dad, and…”

“Michael. Right.” Kyle sighed. “But we talked about high school, and you did forgive me, so why are you bringing that back up now?” He sounded hurt, but Alex only snorted.

“There is a newsflash for you, Kyle – takes a long time to get over years of being mistreated. Especially if the bully was your best friend. You know, one of those who you share all your secrets with?” He laughed bitterly, and Kyle had the decency to look ashamed. But he stood his ground, nonetheless.

“Alex.” He paused, trying to sort his thoughts. “I get it.” He held up his hands when Alex opened his mouth to argue back. “Please, Alex, hear me out. Afterwards, if you still want me to leave, I will, I promise.” Taking a deep breath, he continued. “I get it, at least, I think I do. When we were about to enter high school, I hadn’t realized that I swing both ways. Hell, it wasn’t until sometime during my college years, and even then, I was so confused over being attracted to guys.”

Shaking his head, he carried on. “I’m still struggling sometimes. In hindsight, I really only admire you more, you know that? Cause, man, you were always so confident about it. Or your outfit and all that!” He smiled. “I never could have pulled that off, even if I had wanted to. But you?” Kyle let out a sound somewhere between a snort and a huff. “I dunno, Alex. Maybe I was just jealous of you.”

Suddenly looking unsure, he took a tentative step forward, his eyes holding Alex gaze. “When you told me that you like me as more than friends, I just wasn’t prepared for it, I had no idea how to react.”

Alex snorted. “That, Kyle, was very obvious, thanks for the reminder. You know, like, in the way you shoved me so hard I stumbled against the tree? That made for an interesting bruise alright. But,” he continued, eyebrows raised, “it also made for a nice change. At least it wasn’t from dear old dad this time around. But, oh, wait – it was for pretty much the same reason!”

Kyle looked like he was about to bolt. He shoved his hands into his pockets, and was half-way turned around to walk out of the cabin, when he froze. “No. You don’t get to do that, Manes.” He turned back around, marched right up to Alex, and held his ground. “I got your number. You can go on, mockingly talking about all this, but I know it must have sucked for you, and big time. If I tell you a million times over how sorry I am for the way I behaved, it will never be enough, I know that, but I will not leave before I have set things right with you. Come on, we owe each other that much, don’t you think? After working together to dismantle our dads’ gruelling work, trying to safe our resident aliens, one of which was the love of your life, or so I’ve gathered recently.” He took a deep breath. “I liked you. Ok. We were great friends growing up, and I fucked all that right up, for which I am so sorry. Now you know that I found out a thing or two about myself in the meantime, and –“ He suddenly looked alarmed, and Alex raised his eyebrow expectantly.

“Alex.” Kyle swallowed nervously. “What – did you think I was only doing all that because I didn’t want people to find out about me being queer as well?! Is that why you just went off like that?”

They stared at each other for a few breaths, but to Kyle, it felt like minutes. Then, Alex facial expression changed for a nanosecond, but that was enough for Kyle to switch right into doctor mode.

“Alex, your leg!” He shook his head, angry at himself. “You need to rest it, why didn’t I think about that earlier? Come on, off to the sofa with you.” He gestured towards the couch, ready to follow after Alex, who looked stunned.

“How?” Alex blurted, and Kyle waited for him to continue, his forehead scrunched up questioningly.

“I mean, how did you do that just now, switching so fast?”

Kyle laughed, shaking his head and gesturing towards the living area yet again. “Go on, Alex. Sit first, then I’ll answer.”

After Kyle had made sure that Alex’ crutch was within reach should he need it, they were both situated on the sofa. “Do you want to take the prosthesis off?” He asked, but Alex shook his head before Kyle had finished the sentence. Sighing, Kyle stopped, even though he would have liked to press the issue. But he felt the lack of trust on Alex’ part, and it must have shown on his face.

“Kyle. It’s not that I won’t take it off around you, but we were just arguing, and…” He shrugged, and Kyle laughed quietly.

“Ok, Manes, I get it. But thanks for trying to make me feel better.” He winked at Alex, to show that he was only kidding, before his expression turned serious once again. “About what you said – you do the same thing all the time.”

Alex snorted, shaking his head, but Kyle was determined. “Dude, the entire time we worked on dismantling Project Shepard, you did that so often, if I had gotten five bucks each, I could single-handedly renovate the children’s ward at the hospital with the money!” He threw up his hands, and Alex could not help but grin.

“Yeah,” he said, chuckling, “but lucky for us, we have to leave all the money raising in Isobel’s capable hands instead.”

Kyle smiled. “Right. But you know,” he added after a moment, “the woman is good at what she does. Even after Noah, she pulled herself up and went on ahead, despite what anyone else might have said about her. And under all that diamond hard exterior, the woman’s got heart.”

“Careful, Kyle,” Alex teased, “I might think you have a crush on her and give her a hint. Who knows what she might do then..?” He laughed out loud when he saw Kyle’s alarmed expression.

“Please don’t,” Kyle mumbled faintly, rubbing over his face. Suddenly, he looked tired. “Good lord,” he said, “do you think our lives will ever get normal again at some point? Geez.”

“I don’t think our normal is on the same measurement scale as everybody else’s.” Alex said.

“Huh.” Kyle added, looking into the middle distance. “You might have a point there.”

“Damn straight.” Alex stated. “Or not. You know.” He shrugged, and they both laughed, rolling their eyes.

“Don’t get me wrong, Alex, I like you and your ways, but I just wish we could be like this more often.” Kyle sighed. “I had hoped that once we got our government conspiracies settled – enough,” he added after a moment of thinking, “because truthfully, at this point I don’t think they ever truly will be, but I wanted for us to just hang out with each other. Talking. Going for drinks. Maybe a movie.”

“What, it’s my duty now to get you caught up on Star Wars?” Alex joked, and Kyle rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, whatever, man.” Kyle shook his head. “Well. As much as I don’t want to, but wasn’t there something we still have to talk about..?”

Alex laughed. “Oh, like how you are switching to your doctor persona in the blink of an eye, and what that’s got to do with me..?”

“Yeah, right.” Kyle rolled his eyes. “I was referring to your assumption of my younger self, mistreating you as a distraction for everyone else, but sure, you can’t possibly guess what I’m talking about…”

A mischievous expression, the kind of blink-and-you-missed-it, on his face, Kyle gathered what little energy he still had left over after a long day at the hospital, followed by agonizing over Alex avoiding him, ultimately leading to the confrontation they just had, and he jumped up to stand at attention, saluting, and shouted. “Sir, yes, Sir!”

Chuckling, he sat back down, and looked at a dumbfounded Alex, who had moved as if to get up, but had only made it half-way. He sank back into the couch, sighing, with both hands covering his face, his head shaking. “Kyle, seriously.”

An elbow to the side made him look up, finding himself face to face with a grinning Kyle, and memories from their shared youth flashed through his brain.

“Come on, that was the fastest way to make you see what I mean, admit it!”

Not knowing what else to do, Alex pulled Kyle into a headlock, and they playfully wrestled around, until Kyle waved his hands in the air, admitting defeat. “Geez, Alex, remember the time when you wouldn’t have stood a chance against me?” To which Alex only snorted, rolling his eyes, but Kyle was grinning again.

Panting, they both sat, trying to catch their breath. Looking at Alex, Kyle suddenly realized how much closer they were, and he felt panicked. “Ok, so what do we do now,” he blurted, “I mean, talk some more, or do you want me to leave? We can take this back up some other time? I’m pretty tired myself, to be honest, and…”

Mortified, Kyle looked at a giggling Alex, who shook his head. “Kyle, you’re rambling. Which is kinda cute.” He cleared his throat before he continued. “But I don’t think you need to drive the long way home tonight. You are welcome to crash here, we can talk some more, maybe have something to drink after all the talking we already did..?” He suggested.

Kyle used that excuse to go and get some water from Alex’ fridge for them both. When he returned to the sofa, he had managed to gather his wits back about him.

Alex observed Kyle for a moment, a far-away look in his eyes. “You mind telling me a little about that guy Rosa heard about from Maria?” He said softly after a long moment, and Kyle sagged back into the cushions with an audible “oof”.

“That’s what I get for wanting to actually talk to you about things, huh?” Kyle asked. “But ok, sure. Only, I don’t think there is much to talk about, really. I mean, he is a great guy, and we obviously stayed in touch after I moved back here, but.” He scratched his head in thought. “We met at the gym, and I saw him again at the hospital, after a kid at his school got injured during a game. He is a basketball coach, among other things,” Kyle added, after noticing the question marks in Alex’ eyes.

“Anyway.” Kyle cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from Alex’ face to stare straight ahead. “Eventually, we went out together, for beers at first, but it quickly became clear that we were both interested in more than easy companionship. We opted to look into the local gay bars, and a few drinks later, he kissed me on the dance floor.”

Alex’ chuckling caught Kyle’s attention. “What are you laughing at, huh?” He kicked Alex’ foot lightly, but he could tell that Alex had noticed how tense he had gotten during his recount.

“Relax, Kyle.” Alex said, but he was still laughing quietly. “It’s just, does he have a name? And, if you don’t mind me asking, was that your first hook-up with a guy, or why are you so nervous telling me about it?”

Kyle shook his head at himself. “I really didn’t mention that, huh? His name is Caesar Martinez, and he’s from Albuquerque. Well. Originally, at least.”

Alex nodded. “So he got Mexican heritage, or..?”

“Nope, his parents are from Costa Rica. Which, he usually does not talk about much, so people don’t ask him about the dinosaurs all the time, but I can’t say I ever understood what he meant by that.” Kyle explained, looking genuinely puzzled.

When Alex laughed so hard that he ended up holding his sides and needing tissues, Kyle sat with his arms crossed, a pout on his face.

After a while, Alex had gotten a hold of himself again, and he winked. “Careful there, Valenti, or it might just end up the other way round if you continue pouting so prettily…” He waggled his brows, and Kyle groaned.

“Stop it, Manes!” He shouted, but Alex just laughed at him.

Eventually, Kyle asked if they were good for now, and Alex nodded, followed by a yawn. “You want to shower, or anything? The extra toothbrushes are in the cupboard on the left, I think.” Kyle nodded, and they went through their respective nightly routines quickly, both too tired to want to linger any longer than necessary.

When Kyle went back to the sofa and found no sheets or pillows other than the ones belonging to the couch, he went to talk to Alex. “Um, about that,” Alex, on his way to the bathroom, said, a little sheepishly, “I don’t think the couch will do your back any favours. I accidentally fell asleep on it a few times, and regretted every single one of them. So, if you don’t mind, we could just share..?”

Kyle looked at him, incredulously. “Did you just suggest for us to share your bed, or am I imagining things?”

Alex, shook his head. “Ok, Valenti, you know what? Do whatever you want, I’m going to shower and when I’m done, I will just see what you’ve decided.” He threw his hands up, carefully turned around and grabbed his crutches before he entered the bathroom, the door falling shut behind him.

Stunned over Alex’ outburst, Kyle stood for a minute, quietly debating with himself, before he shrugged, went into Alex’ bedroom and got into the side of the bed that was clearly not being used by Alex.

Alex came back into the room when Kyle was on the brink of falling asleep, but the sight of Alex Manes in all his almost naked glory, a towel slung lazily around his middle, had him sitting right back up and gaping.

“You did that on purpose, or what, Manes?” He blurted, but Alex just chuckled.

“Relax, Kyle, jeez. I didn’t mean to get you all hot and bothered, just forgot to take a change of clothes. I never really do that when I’m alone, so.” He shrugged, which did nothing to help Kyle, and he huffed while laying back down.

Alex got into bed as well and switched the light off. “You got work tomorrow?” He asked, but Kyle answered that he was off for two days. They bid each other good night and were quiet for a stretch of time.

“Kyle?”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t get it. You’ve seen me more or less dressed a million times, especially if we count the ones from back then as well. Why was this the time that’s different?” Alex sounded hesitant, and Kyle took the time to think about his answer, realizing that Alex genuinely wanted to know.

“I’m not sure, to be honest,” he said into the almost darkness. He rolled over to lay on his side, one arm folded under his head, turned into Alex’ direction.

He could hear Alex turning onto his own side with difficulty more than he could actually see him. “So,” Alex whispered, “you think I’m hot, do you?” To Kyle, it sounded as if Alex was trying to make it sound light and teasing, but he was not sure.

“Alex. Don’t hit me or anything, but since we decided to really talk, I will just ask when I’m not sure about something, ok?” When he noticed Alex nodding his head, he continued. “Great. Did I read you correctly just now, you were being serious, yeah?” He asked.

A long moment passed before Alex answered.

“Yeah. I really was.”

Kyle felt how much it must have cost Alex to admit that. “Thank you for being honest.” He had to pause to clear his throat, suddenly a little overwhelmed with feelings. “Yes. I do think you’re hot.” He snorted. “I mean, come on. Of course I’ve pretty much always known, at least from a certain age onwards, that you’re a good looking dude. But yeah, in light of recent bisexual awakenings and all that, I can now say that I personally like your looks. A lot. Ahem.”

Sensing Kyle’s nervousness over the topic, Alex decided to pay him the same respect. But he found that old habits die rather hard, because instead of a heartfelt comment, what slipped into the darkness between them was “So you’re saying that you REALLY might just kiss me, then?”

Groaning, Kyle grabbed his pillow and buried his head underneath it. “Maaaaaaneeees..!” Came the muffled sound, and Alex giggled.

After a few minutes, Alex decided to change the subject. “Did you know that I have been training with Isobel?”

“No way! That’s awesome, Alex. Self-defence?” Kyle gave back and felt Alex nod.

“Yep. She is a force to be reckoned with, I’m tellin’ you.” Alex praised. “Rosa asked if she could take some lessons as well, but since she is thinking about moving away…” Alex left the sentence hanging, and Kyle made a non-committal sound.

“Rosa and I are still struggling. I don’t know how to change that.” He sounded defeated even to his own ears, and Alex tried to come up with something comforting to say. Unfortunately, he knew first-hand how tough it was for Rosa, even if the head-strong young woman would never admit that herself, trying to find her place in a life where everyone else was suddenly ten years further down the road.

“Change is annoyingly difficult,” he said, and Kyle snorted. “Yeah,” he gave back, “we know a thing or two about that ourselves, huh?” They both chuckled.

After some time, Alex said “Do you think Liz will try to move away with Rosa, I mean, if Rosa decides to go through with that?” He heard how Kyle let out a breath before he answered.

“I don’t know, maybe. Who could blame her, right? The job situation hasn’t exactly improved, and with Max still not back…” Kyle sighed. “What about you, Alex? Now that your enlistment is up, you going to check out on me?” He phrased it lightly, but Alex could tell he meant it.

“Huh. I mean, I got a house here.” He said, then chuckled. “Why are you asking, Valenti? Want to run away with me?”

Kyle’s eyeroll was practically audible, and they both laughed. But after a minute, Kyle answered in a serious voice. “That’s actually a good idea. Get away from all the alien drama for a while, if nothing else.” A thoughtful silence hung between them before he added. “Can I ask you something?”

“That sounds mighty serious, Kyle. But yeah, sure.” Alex said, and Kyle went ahead.

“Are you and Michael done for good? I mean, I get it if you don’t want to talk about it,” He hastily added. “But in light of recent developments…” He cleared his throat. “Things with Forest didn’t work out. Right?”

Alex snorted. “Good lord, no. With the shit he pulled? Ugh. But Michael…”

“It’s ok, Alex, you don’t…”

“I know, Kyle! It’s just, I’m not sure how to answer that. There is so much history between us, sometimes I feel like I will never be over him. And yet.” He shrugged helplessly, and Kyle nodded.

“Well.” He said after a moment of thoughtful silence. “As much as I appreciate our new policy of actually talking about things, I was already tired when I got here, and I don’t want to accidentally fall asleep during anything important. How about we just call it a day?”

“Yeah.” Alex agreed. “Night, Kyle.”

“Mh, sleep well, Alex.”

But Alex stayed awake long after Kyle’s breathing pattern had changed into sleep mode.


	2. Find a Way (to You)

As a result of lying awake too long, Alex woke up late the next morning, and he had to hurry to get to the bathroom in time with only his crutches to assist him. While he was already there, he proceeded to brush his teeth and wash his face, lost in thought. After he had re-affixed the prosthesis, he looked into the mirror and decided to just give up on his hair.

Back in the hallway, his ears lead him into the kitchen – but the sight he saw himself faced with stopped him right in the doorway.

Kyle, clearly in the process of making breakfast, had the music on low, and was shimmying his hips more or less in time to the beat. Seeing as he was still only in the sweatpants he had borrowed from Alex, it was a sight to behold, and Alex decided to enjoy the view for a moment.

Of course, that was the time Kyle chose to turn around, and he stopped mid-move, which made Alex burst out laughing, while Kyle looked at him sheepishly.

Alex moved on into the kitchen to help himself to coffee, when Kyle spoke.

“Morning. I hope you don’t mind me cooking, but you didn’t look like you would wake up soon, and…” He left the sentence hanging between them, his eyes searching Alex’ face.

Leaning against the counter, a chipped coffee mug from the UFO Emporium in hand, Alex sighed. “Yeah, sleep doesn’t come too easily these days.” He took a tentative sip. “But in light of our new policy, I want to be honest with you here – what kept me awake this time around was our, uh, argument yesterday. Not the alien stuff, or my PTSD.”

He looked over at Kyle and found him openly gaping. Chuckling, Alex took another sip. “Careful there, Valenti – you might catch some flies or something…” The corners of his eyes crinkled up as Kyle spluttered indignantly. “Damn,” Alex muttered after another mouthful, “you make a mean cup of coffee.”

“Is that good or bad?” Kyle asked, winking. “But yeah, after studying medicine, going through an internship and all that… Being in the medical field pretty much equals high octane coffee.”

Alex laughed. “Yeah. The military isn’t much better, but I usually do it differently here.” He shrugged.

“So,” Kyle started as he sat down to eat, gesturing for Alex to do the same, “did you come to any conclusions while still awake?”

“Sure,” Alex gave back between bites of scrambled eggs. “I’m sorry to bail on you, but we can’t run away with each other because – you snore, Valenti. I can’t live with that, and I’m so sorry, but yeah. I have to stick to my standards, you know?” He looked up at Kyle, who was staring at him as if he had started speaking in a different language, and he laughed. “Again with the gaping. Kyle, you really shouldn’t make that a habit.”

Kyle rolled his eyes, shook his head, and continued to eat. After a while, he spoke up. “Are you always this chipper in the mornings? And for the record, I do. Not. Snore.” He looked so offended that Alex laughed again.

“Yeah, I know. I just couldn’t resist to mess with you. Besides, it’s not news to you that I sold my soul for sarcasm a long time ago, right?”

Kyle laughed. “When you put it that way…” He looked thoughtful, sipping his own coffee. “It’s just, like, having a bit of the old Alex back. I guess it takes some getting used to.” He shrugged, and Alex nodded.

“So,” Kyle said after a while, a mischievous expression on his face. “Can I sway you, or is your mind made up? You’re not running away with me, start anew somewhere far away from Roswell..?”

Alex laughed with him but turned serious after a moment. “I can’t say that I really have all that much that’s holding me here, but what about you? Leaving your mom, is that something you could really do?”

Kyle looked at him for a long time, until Alex thought he might not get an answer at all, when Kyle finally spoke. “Well damn. I didn’t even think about that.” Looking a little sheepish, he continued. “But yeah, I guess I would. Maybe I could try to get a position not that far away from here, so visiting is not completely out? I dunno, Albuquerque or Santa Fe, maybe..?”

Alex nodded. “Yeah, that might work. I want to look into building up my own business, so I’d be flexible. I would like that, I think.”

They finished their breakfast in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

* * *

Gesturing at his shirtless state, Kyle asked “You want me to stay like this and do the dishes while you watch, Manes? Ogle me some more?” Alex shook his head, smiling.

“Well.” He moved closer towards Kyle, a playful smirk on his face. “Or, we could change things around, and I do the dishes while you watch..?” He winked at Kyle, one hand on the counter right next to Kyle’s hip, the other still hanging loosely at Alex’ side, leaving Kyle with the option to step out of the situation. But Kyle grabbed on to Alex’ forearm and leaned in until he was close enough to whisper into his ear. “So maybe we both might just kiss one another, huh..?”

There was a brief pause, heavy with possibilities, but Alex had made his choice somewhere between that first look at Kyle, making breakfast in his kitchen, and talking about running away with each other. He leaned in, his free hand wandering feather-light up over Kyle’s abs and toned chest to move into his hair and he pulled him into a firm kiss.

Kyle kissed him right back, moaning quietly, and Alex sighed. Reluctantly, he ended the kiss and touched his forehead to Kyle’s, his eyes still closed as they shared the air between them. Eventually, Kyle moved his head so he could pull Alex into a tight hug. He cleared his throat before he whispered, “I liked that a lot.” He felt Alex nod against his neck, and they stood like that for a few more minutes.

A while later, the dishes done in companionable silence, they had relocated to the back porch, dressed for the day, each with a fresh mug of coffee.

Kyle looked at Alex. “I didn’t answer your question yesterday. The one about Martinez?”

Alex looked confused. “But you did. Didn’t you?”

Shaking his head, Kyle continued. “Only part of it. You wanted to know if he was my first male hook-up.” Alex nodded slowly. “That’s right, I asked that. But you don’t…”

“I know, Manes. But I want to.” Kyle closed his eyes for a moment before he explained “He was not my first, but the first one I went that far with. You know,” He added sheepishly, “going all the way?”

Alex chuckled. “Blushing really suits you, Valenti.” He squeezed Kyle’s arm reassuringly.

Taking a deep breath, Kyle continued. “Thanks, I think? Anyways, we got together a couple of times, but eventually decided to end it and stay friends.” He shrugged. “I think he is on his way into a serious relationship with a woman, Rosita something.”

They sat in silence for a moment. “Can I ask you something, Alex?” When he got the ok, he said “Have you ever been in an actual relationship? Because, aside from Liz in high school, I can’t say that I have. Which is kinda pathetic, huh?”

“Well.” Alex started, looking thoughtful. “I guess our reasons vary, but I can’t say I have, either.” He played with his empty cup for a moment, before he added “I don’t think it’s pathetic, though. Besides, there are people who aren’t into romantic relationships at all.” He shrugged. “It’s a heteronormative construct. So.” He turned towards Kyle. “I’m not saying that I’ve been a saint during my time with the Air Force, but you aren’t so likely to enter a serious relationship if the other person might just die on you any moment. I mean,” he added with a shrug, “some people get married before their significant other is shipping out, but yeah.”

“And there was Michael for you, right?” Kyle added quietly, nodding towards Alex’ mug.

Alex sighed deeply. “Yeah. There was Michael.” Looking down, he added almost inaudibly “until he wasn’t.”

Kyle nodded. “Just when you had decided to stand by him, for everyone to see, yes?”

“Yeah.” Alex swallowed. “Maybe it was too little, too late. But I…” He shook his head, and Kyle pulled him into a side hug. “It’s ok, Alex. We can talk about something else, but I really appreciate you being honest with me.” He pressed a kiss to Alex temple, and they sat in silence, until Alex felt better. He leaned away from Kyle, looked at him and said “Boy, this whole talking thing is pretty exhausting.”

Kyle started laughing, and Alex joined in. After getting up, Kyle held out his hand for Alex to hold on to, then pulled him up and into a hug. “I think I will head home now,” he murmured into Alex’ neck. “Run some errands and all that awesome crap adults get to do, you know?”

Alex chuckled, and Kyle grinned. “But how about we meet up later, grabbing a bite to eat somewhere? Maybe watch a movie, like we talked about?”

“Valenti! Are you asking me on a date..?” Alex teased, leaning back to look into Kyle’s face.

Suddenly flustered, Kyle said “If I did, would you consider it?”

“Well,” Alex started, “that depends.” He raised his eyebrow questioningly, and Kyle looked even more nervous than before.

“Are you willing to go all out for me? Fancy restaurant, all that?”

Kyle swallowed visibly. “If that’s what you want…” He answered, a doubtful expression on his handsome features.

Alex touched Kyle’s cheek gently, leaned in, and kissed the frown off his face.

When they both leaned back again, Kyle smirked. “I should have known you can’t mean that, but I’ll admit, you had me fooled for a second there, Manes.”

Alex giggled, and Kyle’s eyebrows shot up. He took a step back, shook his head, and started walking, holding Alex’ hand in his. “I’m getting to know a totally different Alex, huh?”

“Mh. Maybe.” Alex kept quiet until they reached Kyle’s car. “Woah, Kyle – you really were in a hurry to settle things between us, huh?” He asked, shaking his head over the way the car was parked, which could only be described as haphazardly.

“So,” Kyle said, trying to distract Alex, “where do you really wanna go? Crashdown?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, do you?” Alex answered, sounding doubtful.

“Yeah, ok.” Kyle laughed. “I would say, what’s the worst that could happen, but that went downhill once already, so I won’t. Better safe than sorry, and all that.” Hands in his pockets, he bounced on his feet, looking down. “We could go to Beam Me Up Coffee instead and take it from there? Honestly,” he added, blushing, “I just want to go out with you.”

He looked back up when he felt Alex’ arms sneaking around his middle, pulling him into a hug. “I’d like that a lot, Kyle.”

“Yeah?” Kyle whispered, his mouth inches from Alex’, who nodded imperceptibly before he leaned in for another kiss. But Kyle seemed to have gathered his courage, as he pushed his hand into Alex’ already dishevelled hair, holding him as close as possible, turning the kiss into something a lot less PG-rated.

And if they spent a long time with Alex leaning against the car, with Kyle pressed up close to him, kissing each other breathless?

Well. Nobody was there to keep score…

**Author's Note:**

> A while back, I had saved a list of prompts, thinking about writing again. It was from Fictober 2019, and contained a line per day, out of which I ended up using the following:  
"I might just kiss you."  
"Change is annoyingly difficult."  
"I sold my soul for sarcasm."  
Caesar Martinez is portrayed by Jose Pablo Cantillo, whose roots do indeed lie in Costa Rica, which is the set up for the Jurassic Park franchise, hence the reference. Besides. I love dinosaurs.  
Rosita Espinosa is another character from TWD.


End file.
